Cougar Barbie - 50th Anniversary - Watch more Funny Videos

Cougar: a commonly-accepted definition of a cougar is a woman 40 years of age or older who exclusively pursues very young men.  A ten-year age difference seems to be an unspoken but accepted minimum between partners.  Typically, cougars prey upon men almost young enough to be their sons. Thus fortysomething cougars would be attracted to men in their 20s, and fiftysomething cougars would pursue men in their 30s and so on.

someone i knew once commented i only dated jailbait.  i wasn't offended but had to correct him because i would look at jailbait but would not settle with them.  as you slide closer to 4-0, every eligible/dateable man around you suddenly becomes younger.  and the mere ogle/man crush you have on a younger man becomes a slippery slope downhill into troll-dom.  i watched fame on sunday and thought, gee asher book is quite hot.  only to find out that he's just turned 21.  i've officially become a troll.

let's face it, its hard to look at men my age.  gay boys have spent their entire lives abusing themselves so they start losing their looks fairly quickly.  and because we are gay and shallow, looks count for everything.  which leaves us wanting boys we can't really have.

the cruel bit comes as i close in on 4-0 [in two years] is the men in my bracket are attracted to boys in their 20s.  so they cast their eyes on me like they've seen a piece of dead horse and look elsewhere.  because every gay man hears that clock ticking and becomes overwhelmed by their fears -- trying to make the most of what we can or have.  while it lasts.  which is why we nervously laugh at places like stonewall or the midnight shift.  because deep down inside, we just might see ourselves there one day.

mattel probably didn't expect these cruel spoofs on barbie when she turned 50 this year.  her dress and style [and body shape] may have changed over 50 years but she's never changed beyond that.

if barbie the doll could think and speak, she'll probably tell you she has pretty much been the same after all these years.  its just that everyone around her has changed and looked at her age from a different angle.