dear tara

as your farewell present, i wanted to get you a book about relocating to another country to help you deal with a completely new environment. i read one of those when i was about to move to sydney. it was like a holy grail to me because it asked me to embrace my new surroundings and to go on long walks.

i thought it would be appropriate except i realised there are billions of people who relocate for love/life/work and really its nothing special. so instead of helping some self-confessed guru who has gotten allied pickford to pack their boxes and drop it off in another country make a living writing crappy advice about how you should live your life, i'm giving you my royalty-free life experience version of relocating.

#1 everywhere else is crap except home. you better believe it. you would be comparing life to the most minute detail when you move to another country. why can't this be better? why won't it do this? why can't i find this? before you know it, you will be isolating people you love with questions they can't or won't want to answer. because the reality is it'll never be better elsewhere.

#2 [insert name of your freight forwarder] is not your best friend. your belongings will never arrive on time as promised. you will see the things you love being carefully put away in bubble wrap and taped and you would look forward to reuniting with them soon. i'm sorry to disappoint. you will be living your life out of your suitcase and will wear the same clothes you brought with you for many more weeks after the expected date of arrival of your belongings. you will spend every morning harassing/yelling/abusing your freight forwarding company. whether its your agent, his boss or his assistant until they actually show up at your door with your stuff. and at that moment, you'd realise you never want to go anywhere else again. or you would save money to pay for excess baggage because you will never want to be separated from your belongings ever again.

#3 go for long walks and try to find yourself. besides helping to familiarise yourself with a new city, it beats staying at home waiting for the phone call that will never come from your freight forwarder. it sometimes helps you to find your way because you have no clue where you are in a new city. which adds to the frustration because the last thing you want to do is use a map or ask for directions. because you want to look like you are a local. and deep down inside, you want to feel you are in familiar surroundings. which don't look anywhere like home when its supposed to be.

#4 its alright to have a few or many drinks to help you settle down. and its perfectly acceptable at anytime of the day. especially after yelling at your freight forwarder or getting lost in your new city. or when its too early or late to call your friends to ask them why. identify the closest store that sells liquor or a nice quiet bar where you can a few to calm you down. a quiet venue would work well especially if its dark. so you can cry if you feel like it and no one will see and think you are the neighbourhood loony.

#5 distractions are good especially if it involves projecting anxieties or fears that will distract you from dealing with the harsh realities of life. i drank bottled water for six months because my ex and i were terrified that we might die from the unclean water that was flowing out from our dirty terrace house. so my distraction was finding places we could buy boxed or bottled water on special close to our home so we would never have to drink water from the tap. funny enough, i would brush my teeth with tap water.

#6 seek out your countrymen. find people who share the same birth country or culture with you so you can sit around and recount how splendid life is at home. the home you left. discuss how you can replicate meals you can't find, procure foods you would find from home or the places that you liked hanging out at home. then walk away feeling refreshed and strengthened and ready to abuse your freight forwarder because you are honestly sick of living out of a suitcase.

i could go on writing this entry but its best you experience this new life ahead on your own. because each journey is different and amazing. just don't let the freight forwarders hold you back from living your full potential.