the raging sea of thoughts and emotions in my head are beginning to calm now. just like how the weather has gone quiet today in sydney.

after debating for days over what i will do without sky and rei (my miniature schnauzers), i've come to terms with the most painful part of loving is letting them go. rather than fight another war with my strata, subject my dogs to further confinement or put them on that electronic training collar i've bought, i think they are better off living with my ex.

it'll be three years in october since i've moved to my own place and the kids have been my family and company everyday. so its hard to think what my life will be without them. without them in bed with me at night, snuggled next to me while i read or hanging around the kitchen to watch me cook.

but i have to convince myself that they will be better off with my ex. since he's moved to a bigger place, grooms them far better and is a wonderful disciplinarian.

so maybe its time to take that big step to make some changes to my life. move to another suburb, live like a real single person, think about working overseas again. i don't have any answers right now. maybe after the weekend.